tennis elbow

[phantom 858]

Two guy’s tom and Mack were out playing tennis
After the match Tom says to Mack “man my elbow is killing me!”
Mack asks tom “ what’s wrong with it tom?”
Tom replies “it really hurts When I move it! I think I need to see a doctor.”
Mack say’s “Nah man you don’t need to see a doctor There is this new vending booth at Wal-Mart in the prescription Section,"
"You just put in a quarter in the slot, and a Dixie cup comes out and you go inside behind the curtain And pee in to the cup then pour everything into the machine and it tells you what’s wrong! it really works great! its saved me from seeing the doctor a few times"
Tom thinks to himself…” that’s the Greatest invention EVER! Ill save a s**t load of money not paying that doctor for a visit!”
Sooo..
Tom goes to the wal-mart on the way home
Makes his way to the vending machine looks at it
Thinks to himself “what the heck a quarter if all else fails and this thing isn’t. Right ill go see the doctor!”
So he puts in his quarter, the lil Dixie cup pops out, . Tom looks around to see if anyone was looking..
No one was, so he ducks in behind the curtain pees in to the cup.
He pours it in to the reception slot
a female computer voice comes over the speaker and “says thank you please wait analyzing your sample”
Nothing happens for about 2 minute’s
Tom says to himself this “oh well it doesn’t work! It was only a quarter”
then All of a sudden the machine starts making a rattle and rumble and spits out a piece of paper.
And a female computer voice says “analyst complete please take your results!”
Tom takes the paper and reads it on the paper it is printed…
After studying your sample your test result is you have tennis elbow.
Remedy: go home get a lot of rest, try not to use your arm.

So.. tom being skeptical decides to see his doctor for a second opinion.
The doctor confirms what the vending machine said tennis elbow.
Tom is amazed
he Thinks to himself
“Ok I’m going to see how smart this vending machine really is!”
So when get gets home he goes and gets a glass jar from the basement
He tells his wife he’s doing a experiment and has her urinate in to it
He ask his daughter urinate in to it for his experiment
He has his dog urinate in to the jar also
Then he * and * in it for fun!
Tom returns back to wal-mart with his concoction in the jar
he puts in his quarter the cup pops out
He goes behind the curtain pours in to the machine
The computer voice “says thank you please wait analyzing your sample”
Nothing happens for about 5 minutes
Tom thinks, “HA I beat this machine! "
Then all of a sudden the machine really makes a lot of noise, rattling, shaking, pounding it sounds like the machine is going to explode!
Tom says out loud, “Oh s**t I broke it!”
Just then it spits out a long list of paper
the computer female voice says “Analyst complete please take your results!”
Tom reads the paper.
printed on it
it reads.....
After extensive studying of your sample your test result is this:
1) “Your wife is cheating on you and having a affair with the mailman “
remedy: divorce your wife.
2) “Your 17 year old daughter is a pregnant with a bast child"
remedy: have her put it up for adoption.
3) “Your dog has worms and infected with fleas and ticks”
remedy: deworm your dog and give it a flea and tick bath.
4) "AND IF YOU DON’T STOP JACKING OFF TOM THAT TENNIS ELBOW WILL NEVER GO AWAY!